More Of My Mother

Collaborator: David Kirshenbaum (music)

Song Type: , ,

Associated Artists: Kate Baldwin, Caroline Sheen

Reflection in a storefront window.
Scanning my hair and plucking a stray.
Hand cocked on hip,
Thick upper lip.
I’m more of my mother every day.

Discovering a vein protruding.
Seeing her hands as I reach the door.
Knuckles that crack,
No turning back.
Becoming my mother more and more.

I carry her hips behind my pockets.
I carry her values in my heart.
I wonder, when did all this copycatting start?

I never wanted to become her.
I longed for my life to sweep me away.
Logic and sense,
Smart and intense:
I’m more of my mother every day.

But oh, she’s a woman filled with regret.
And oh, there are things she’ll never see.
She has a hunger lost inside,
And sometimes I’m terrified
That she’s exactly who I’m growing up to be.
And oh, there’s her voice that’s still in my ears.
Saying, “No, darling, this is just a phase.
These are times you will outgrow.
There are things you can’t yet know.”
When will I stop looking for her praise?

I notice with a shock she’s aging.
Her edges look soft and colored with grey.
No slowing down,
Never a frown.
She’s more like her mother every day.
She carries those hips behind her pockets.
She carries those values in her soul.
I wonder,
Was I always destined for this role?

A baby cries and I come running.
Try to stay calm, but scared to the core.
This is my life.
Once just a wife,
Becoming a mother more and more.
Becoming my mother, more and more.