LYRICS:
SORRY TO DISTURB YOU
CAUSE I SEE YOU’RE HAVING DINNER
BUT I’VE GOT SOMETHING THAT REALLY CAN’T WAIT.
I’VE THOUGHT SO MUCH ABOUT YOU
(IMAGINED YOU’D BE THINNER…)
BUT HEAR ME OUT AND LET THIS QUESTION
SIT THERE ON YOUR PLATE:
WHEN DID YOU DECIDE TO START FUCKING MY HUSBAND?
WE BOTH KNOW THIS DAY WAS OVERDUE.
TELL YOU WHAT I THINK —
OH YEAH, YOU’RE GONNA NEED THAT DRINK,
CAUSE YOU’VE TOTALLY BEEN BUSTED
AND YOUR HAIR LOOKS SHITTY TOO.
WHEN DID YOU DECIDE TO START FUCKING MY HUSBAND?
DID YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF MASTER PLAN?
DO YOU LIKE THE MARRIED KIND–
UNAVAILABLE, CONFINED —
CAUSE YOU’RE FILLED WITH SUCH SELF-CONFIDENCE
OR JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN?
I’D LIKE TO PUSH YOU DOWN SOME STAIRS BUT YOU’D RECOVER.
THROW YOU OFF A BALCONY THEN STAND ABOVE AND STARE.
DON’T CROSS THE STREET OR LEAVE YOUR DOORS UNLOCKED, CUZ LOVER —
I COULD BE THERE!
I BET YOU THOUGHT THAT IN A PINCH MY GUY WOULD CHOOSE YOU,
LEAVE ME BEHIND AND TRADE HIS LIFE IN FOR A SONG.
HOW SIMPLY SHOCKING IT MUST BE AS YOU DISCOVER
YOU WERE WRONG.
YOU WERE WRONG!
TRUST ME THAT I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING MY HUSBAND.
HOW I HOPE YOU’RE MORTIFIED AND MORE.
HERE’S MY WISH FOR YOU:
MAY YOUR EVERY DREAM COME TRUE
AND THEN ONE DAY, MAY YOUR FIND YOUR HUSBAND
WITH A SKANKY WHORE.
MAYBE THEN THE FACT THAT YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING MY HUSBAND
WILL RING A KARMIC BELL, DISTANT AND TRUE.
STAY OUT OF MY LIFE.
I’M A BITCH BUT I’M HIS WIFE.
OFF YOU GO, AND WHILE YOU’RE AT IT, MONKEY….
FUCK YOU.